Last Saturday, I went on an inadvertent all day drinking pilgrimage to North Beach one of San Francisco’s most touristy, least-visited-by-locals quarters. Despite it’s overpriced Italian restaurants, weird danceclubs, overelaborate strip clubs and the bevy of bridge-and-BARTers who frequent them, North Beach still has some fine bars, of both the divey and bobo variety. In these bars, where I wasted a whole day, while spending upwards of $100 on booze and food and probably $15 alone on the various jukeboxes, I sowed the seeds for the cold that has currently stuffed up my nose and left me tired, achy and cranky.

Now, I suspect one of the friends who I was drinking with, who was coughing and sniffling for the duration, gave me this cold. I can’t entirely blame him though. If I had been exercising sound judgment, washing my hands regularly, eating something other than greasy bar food (vegetables, maybe?), exercising even a little bit and getting enough sleep, I would probably be fine right now. Unfortunately, I did none of those things, and now my sinuses feel like they’re filled with green caterpillar poop and my skull seems too have shrunk two sizes in the wash, putting the squeeze on my fragile brain. So now that I have this stupid cold, I thought I might outline what I am doing to beat it.

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